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Is this the worst thing ever written about brunch?

It's a tough field, but maybe.

As anyone who's been unlucky enough to talk to me about the topic will know - particularly if it was in one of my intense, just-landed, let-me-tell-you-about-Australia phases - I have very strong opinions about brunch. The one opinion that rules them all is that people in the UK do not actually know what brunch is, and nothing I see makes me think otherwise.

Actually you kind of have to feel sorry for this Buzzfeed writer, whose take - "brunch is bad and it's about time we admit it" - is terrible in more or less exactly the ways that the brunch on offer in London is terrible. It's not that she's wrong about it being bad to queue 40 minutes for a lazy conjunction of breakfast and lunch menus plus a mimosa. It's that brunch... is so much more than that.

There's a good chance this blog section will just become a litany of brunch-based complaints, so it's probably best not to go on, but here is a short list either of things wrong with this article or things wrong with London cafes:

  1. Is brunch a "made-up meal"? Yes. All meals are made up.
  2. Brunch is not just regular breakfast food but with avocado.
  3. Brunch is not just regular lunch food but with an egg. (You can have eggs at lunch!)
  4. Mimosas are completely peripheral to brunch, and only loud Americans have convinced you otherwise.
  5. A doughnut is not even breakfast, and it's definitely not brunch.
  6. Obviously you do not eat brunch in addition to breakfast and lunch.
  7. Being hungover is completely peripheral to brunch.
  8. Queuing is essential to the London brunch experience only because there are so few places even remotely close to a proper standard.
And I will remove this from the numbering, because it's not really about brunch, but: Nando's is a travesty.